Five months later, as I reflect on my experience in Tanzania, I can’t help but to think that everything happens for a reason. We live our busy lives doing various things that it takes a while to reflect on everything.
At least once a week, if not every day, I am reminded of my experience in Africa. I think about the people. I think about what I learned and the medicine.
The people. The medicine. My passion for both.
It was harder than I thought, this personal mission trip. With a mission team, you have other people to keep you accountable and to share how God is revealing himself throughout the day. I was reminded that I don’t know where God is going to take me and that this itself was a learning experience; how to keep the faith and relationship without being fed.
Although I didn’t spend as much time as I wanted on reflection and prayer, I still felt Christ’s presence throughout the trip; the church services and conversations with the clinic staff. I found out on the last day that the clinic staff and doctors met early in the mornings and have group prayer. If only I knew earlier, I would have joined.
This past semester, I continued to struggle with this concept of not being fed. I couldn’t help but to think about my enriching experience in DC and the wonderful church I attended where I felt fed every day. I decided to check out different churches in the area. Throughout the semester, I began to realize again that it’s not about being fed. It’s not about me. Surprised? Not really, but oh how easy it is to forget. I also thought about my perspective during the different times of my life. While I was in DC, I focused more on God and on relationships. While my faith has not faltered, during school I’m more focused on school and trying to balance everything in life. But God is good and he continues to teach me by using my strengths and by pointing out my weaknesses in order to glorify Him.
In medical school, there have been times that I’m reminded of my inadequacy and even these have been blessings. They have been gentle reminders of humility and the fact that I can’t do anything alone. I can only do my best and have faith that God is in control. With that faith, God has brought me to where I am. I’ve been blessed with wonderful family, friends, and this God-given passion.
With this passion, I feel that God is calling me to long-term missions abroad. I’m not sure where He’s going to take me, but I’m excited to go. With that said, I’m also anxious about the rest of life – such as getting married, having kids, and how all this is going to play out with this calling. We will see…
My friend, Young, recently passed away with leukemia, AML. Young was not your ordinary guy. He was the type of friend who was always there to brighten up your day with his quirkiness. He was quick to call out your faults, but in a loving kind a way that you couldn’t get mad at him. He gently challenged people to better themselves and had a view on life different from many. He was a simple guy who didn’t need much or asked for much, but really loved life and people. He inspired all who knew him to live for God and to love others. Up to the moment of his death, Young’s faith was unshakeable.
Although most people would be upset and angry with either the loss of battle against cancer or with God, but there are things in life that we have no control over. One of those things is death. Although I am saddened by the absence of my friend, I am inspired by his life and reminded about the privilege of being a physician. We are placed in a position where we can save people’s lives. That is a privilege. Amidst the craziness of med school, there are times when I have to remind myself that it is a privilege to be in medical school and a privilege to become a doctor. And with privilege comes responsibility. And while we have this responsibility, God gives us the ability to work for his purpose.
I’m not sure what my life will entail, but I know that without Christ, it would not be worth living.
“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.” Philippians 3:7-9.
When all is stripped away, it’s just God, me, and people. Everything else is just a manifestation of how God is working in our lives. Get excited!
While my faith is strong, I am human. What I currently struggle with is getting caught up with the worldly view of success. I think of all these plans and dreams about one day running a non-profit like Partners in Health or working with the World Health Organization. It’s not bad to dream, but it can be dangerous to think to plan without God. I’m still learning.
I would love any advice, comments, or ongoing conversations! Thank you for reading!
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